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The Black Cornerempty posted on: 3.01
Mike Ramey Mike Ramey
by Mike Ramey
The Manhoodline
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Brothers, as I open this month's column, I can't help but to think about the hundreds of men--young and old--who have been pre-programmed to fail to become men of quality because of our feminized society. The issue that got me to thinking about this column could best be labeled: 'Sexual sin in the Workplace.' Of course, our feminized mainstream press offerings call this issue: 'The Workplace Affair.'

Like clockwork--several times a year--stories seem to surface about how men and women who work in whatever profession 'happen' to get 'romantically involved' with each other while on the job. The impression one comes away with is that the couple involved in the 'backdoor romance' simply couldn't
help themselves. I beg to differ.

Here in my neck of the mighty Midwest over the last few years, two school corporations have been rocked by top officials involved in a little 'after hours romance'. The end result for those involved was the same. Both lost their jobs and their marriages. The school corporations lost a lot of public support while they had to rebuild their image and dignity. Lastly, the young people who attended school in these school corporations were left
scratching their heads and wondering if the adults who had charge of them have learned to grown up themselves.

Over the last few years, men from various walks of public life have been cut down in their leadership prime because of Adultery on the job. I'm not going to name names, because you already know who some of them are. They can be as far away as the White House, or as near as the locker down the row from you, or, at the house up the block. Plus, don't be fooled into thinking that they 'got away' with their negative activities. Rest assured--they didn't, and never will no matter how the press may spin it or no matter how much in the way of 'hush money' is paid out!

But we are going to head for some deep water in this column, as we are going to meet the issue head on, and perhaps spare some brother the pain of public humiliation and the destruction of a family.

Brothers, I'll make it plain upfront. Just because the 'Office Hottie' has set her sights on you does not mean you have to give in! In the words of Pastor John Hagee: "It's the blast that doesn't last!" Pastor E.V. Hill, another one of my preaching heroes, made it even more plain as he addressed a gathering of ministers a few years ago in Chicago. "Brothers...if you want to sit in Joseph's Seat...YOU HAVE TO KEEP CONTROL OF YOUR PANTS!" In short, the man who can't control his sexual desires, can't be counted on to run his household, a school, a corporation, or a country.

They end up disqualified from--and for--leadership! Yes, the temptation is always going to be there. In the workplace, the probability of your co-worker, manager or supervisor being of the female persuasion is very real. Some of them may actually be quite attractive and easy on the eyes. However, you don't have to yield to temptation when it comes a-knocking on the doors of your eyes and heart. You can say NO and mean it!
More than one study has surfaced analyzing some of the common characteristics of Adulterous relationships. Would you believe that 'availability' of the participants placed higher than 'physical beauty'? Breaking this down into plain English, the studies suggest that the woman you may 'think' that you are interest in on the job is not prettier than your wife; she is just more available for your pursuit! A question for you from the Old School brothers: Why settle for hamburger on the job when you have steak at home? Thus, here are a few ways you can avoid being 'workplace road kill' on your job, should temptation decide to stop by your office.

One of the ways that you can head off any mess on the job is the following if you are married: brag on, and lift up your wife! Put her picture proudly on your desk or in your locker. If you are married and are on the job, make sure EVERYONE knows and understands that you are married, and don't intend to give up steak for workplace hamburger! Brothers, some of us drift over into the wrong side of the column not because of our words, but because of our silence! If you are married, there is no reason why you should be fearful of telling others--especially younger female CO-workers. First, it sets a good example; second it gives others the opportunity to check their own marriage vows and make sure that they are also demonstrating loyalty to their home. Sometimes, you can improve your marriage by bragging on it! Don't treat your wife as a liability, but as your most prized asset! If the truth be told brothers, if we are honest with ourselves, some of us wouldn't have the blessings in earning power that we do have IF IT WEREN'T FOR OUR WIVES! Brothers, make sure that you talk up your wife so much on the job, that when she drops by for a visit and introduces herself, she will get an honored reception. People on the job will have heard of her love and character so much from you, that they will be stunned by her class and beauty when she finally arrives. And the married sisters in the house said: 'Amen!'

This next point is going to upset a lot of preachers that I know, but I'm heading straight down the fairway with this shot: Brothers, if you are married, WEAR THE HARDWARE! Nothing adds to confusion quicker than a married man trying to pretend that he is single by not wearing his wedding ring. Get the biggest, baddest, and brightest wedding band that you can find, keep it on, and keep it visible! There is no shame in being married. As a matter of fact, in light of some of the antics among the single men I have known over the years, they never quite seem to make it to maturity because of their dating around.

Marriage may not be for everyone; but I notice that the Bible says more to the married man than it does to the single man! One point that is made very clear in several places: Brother, if she is not your woman, keep your hands (and everything else) to yourself! Don't try to squeeze the Charmin under any circumstances!
The life you save could be your own. Under the 'Old School' rules, a woman did not bother to file a 'sexual harassment' charge when a male CO-worker or boss decided to 'get a little frisky' on the job. She usually did two things: one, she balled up her fist and gave the offender a strong right to the jaw--followed by the heaviest
object on her desk; second, she picked up the phone and called her husband and told him what was going on. 'Daddy' would be waiting in the parking lot with a tire iron for the offender as the day ended, and a little 'curbside justice' was administered.

The reason why we well remember the Bible story of Joseph is that this young brother had the courage to resist Potiphar's beautiful wife when she made advances toward him day after day after day. When resistance failed, and she kept on 'a comin', Joseph put shoe leather to concrete and beat it out of the house! Brothers, there are a few women who won't take NO for an answer, no matter how well you carry out rules one through three! In those rare situations, the best solution is to resign from that job, clean out your desk, and head home to your wife. It's better to lose a job than to lose your home. After all, as the Old School saying goes: "You've got to keep Mama happy; cause if Mama ain't happy--ain't nobody happy!"

Want to avoid being on the six o'clock news as 'Fail Bait'? Put your passion in your home and your sweat in your job--and never confuse the two.

Mike Ramey is the author of "The Manhood Line" a column written monthly for men from a biblical, business, and common-sense perspective. To correspond, drop an email to
Copyright Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications. The opinions expressed are those of the author and are used by permission.

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