In this day and age of high technology, email, and global messaging, the only
thing that spreads faster than fast is the value of one's name. Let a
man dishonor his country, his city, or his family, and his name is dirtier
than the mud which he has rolled it through.
Read your daily newspaper or surf the Internet and you have a thumbnail
sketch as to the truth of my column's opening statement. It has become
fashionable for wrong to become right, and right to become wrong. We,
as men, are being told by the mainstream press, public policy wonks,
members, social conservatives and environmentalist liberals that the
end justifies the means. I don't know about you...but, I've reached my
level. Like the cartoon character Popeye used to say before he reached
for his Spinach: "I stands ALL I can stands...and I can't STANDS
no more!" However, instead of a can of Spinach, I'm reaching for
my trusty keyboard. Stand by for some sure ways to get rid of the cheaters
who have been showing up in your life; like vultures who have been moving
in for the kill.
BACK IN THE DAY:
Not that long ago brothers, a man's word was his bond. However, his NAME was
his passport. Not only did it get him around the highways and byways,
but it covered his wife, his children and his extended family.
When you heard a family's name, everyone knew the patriarch and treated
those covered, or associated with that name, accordingly.
Sadly, in far too many cases, those days are gone. We've been treated
to a steady diet of chad-counting, toe-sucking, intern- pouncing and big-oil/corporate
suit-wearing CHEATERS. The only reason WHY they flourish is that
they count on the honest, upright, and moral members of society to stand
by, shut up, and allow their antics to continue. Well, if God has blessed
you with two strong lungs, two strong legs, a pair of lips, and a healthy
supply of backbone like he has me, we need to start cutting cheaters
at the pass AND letting them know, in no uncertain terms, that we will
no longer shield them from the justice that is hunting for them--no matter
how bleak their prospects may be when the payment comes due.
NO LONGER 'A COVER STORY':
The incident that 'pumped my ink' for this column was a fellow writer
getting tech-bombed for giving out truthful advice to the wrongs of married
folks 'getting their itch scratched' by those outside of their marriages.
Now, I realize that adultery has been around since the dawn of time--but
so has the following saying: "If they will CHEAT with you, they
will CHEAT on you!"
Brothers, the reason why adultery has flourished is that--while many of
us have been giving solid advice against it; SOME of us have been
willing to serve as 'cover stories' for those who are playing around
on their wives and sweethearts. Thus, we may be talking one way, but
subsidizing the sin our friends want to wallow in. The reason WHY some
of us willingly serve as cover stories is that, secretly, WE wish that
WE were doing the 'tipping around'! Unfortunately, when the scheme explodes,
guess who is going to be summoned to appear before the wronged party?
YOU ARE! Want to increase the value of your family name? Want to make
sure the stock of your future ancestors is as good as gold? Don't risk
associating your name with present or future adulterers or adulteresses!
You may lose a friend, but you will save not only their marriage--but
your family name. Refuse to be an accomplice to those who have to get
their kicks at a motel on the other side of Route 66!
ADULTERY: THE SUBTLE SNAKE:
Now, some of us who may be reading this may be chuckling to ourselves: "Oh,
it'll NEVER happen to me." Let me clue you brothers;
the snake of adultery is always poised to strike us. Even in those seemingly
'innocent' situations and locations as we make our way about town. Even
to the firm majority of us who may be of 'average' appearance!
There were more than a few times I had to flash the gold of my wedding
band over the year past against flirtatious female clerks, co-workers,
and professionals, and LET THEM KNOW in no uncertain terms that I wouldn't
'buy' them 'this or that' little item or trinket that they had their
little eyes set upon. As the Bible proclaims: "Who can take a burning
fire to their chest and NOT expect to be burned?" I didn't
get married to become another woman's plaything, sugar daddy, pimp, or
'bedroom buddy'. And, for some of you sisters out there, you OUGHT to
be ASHAMED to proposition a MARRIED man for ANYTHING! Yes brothers, treat
ALL women with respect, courtesy, kindness, and chivalry. BUT, don't
your good deeds be mistaken for a plea for 'extra-marital companionship'.
Brothers, if we remain focused on the objective of maintaining a clean
family name, WHEN those opportunities to cheat rise up against us, we
can smack them down without flinching. Your name is the passport that
your family will carry, long after you are gone. I may be a lot of things,
but when that last clump of dirt is tossed onto my casket, there WON'T
be any 'secrets' or 'hidden families' for my wife or children to view.
I value my name.
SET A FIRM ACCOMMODATION LIMIT:
Now, I can understand when a friend or family member runs short of cash.
If you are like me, you don't mind helping out every once in a while.
But, when the same folks line up at your house when you get your paycheck,
asking to borrow this and they will 'pay you back', its time to put the
'CLOSED' sign over your wallet or purse.
You see, there ARE those who know you have a giving heart and
a kind spirit. They know that you are a Christian, or, at least visit
the church house more than twice a year. They know that you don't 'flash
your cash', always seem to make your income stay on the black side of
the street, and know how to shop, save, and work. They, on the other
like to take the 'easy' way through life. You, my brother, are marked
by them as the 'easy' way. Put a firm DETOUR sign out on the communication
lines; let folk know--in no uncertain terms--that you have sprung for
their bail the last time, have paid for them to 'clear up' those bad
covered for them in their last class, and have stopped paying for their
trips to the nearest 'shade tree' businesswoman, or businessman. You've
worked hard for your grades and/or your money. Let it spend more time
with you, than with your cheating friends.
WEASELS, SNAKES, AND DOUBLE AGENTS ON THE JOB:
With the economy as bad as it is, the LAST thing that you need
is to get a pink slip because you have become the office 'chump'. I've
learned--sometimes through unemployment--that there are three types of
people on every job who outlast the office 'chump'--the person with the
good heart who seems to have their doors, wallet, and calendar opened
for everyone--except meeting their own deadlines! Here they are in no
*Weasels: These critters are the people who can either be male
or female co-workers who steal your great ideas to present to the front
office ahead of you; or male or female supervisors and bosses who change
company policy so they are protected, and you are unemployed--even if
you are right! Weasels HATE having the lights turned on them.
Be light. Keep all your good stuff to yourself and WATCH them DIE when
YOU present it!
*Snakes: Brothers, where there are Weasels, there are Snakes.
These are the folks who like to entice you, tempt you, trip you, and
then bite you. These are the critters who wander into your office with
dust, and mistrust on their minds. They are easy to recognize, while
Weasels are not. I'll give you one clue as to how to deal with a Snake;
wife come to the office with a Mongoose attitude, and point that Snake
out! Mama CAN kill a Snake! You may get fired--or promoted--over
it, but it will be a cat fight to END all cat fights. Plus, there may
be some other wives--including your boss'--who may want a piece of 'Long
Tall Sally' out back, Jack. Nuff Said.
*Double Agents: One big bag of wind won't work against a house
of bricks, or a door of wood. But a Double Agent can do more damage than
the worst natural storm, with their constant ability of trading information
back and forth between sides, working for their own advantage and against
Here are a few solutions: Keep your office door closed as much as possible.
If you have a cubicle, keep your chair with the back to the entrance.
Keep your outside stuff outside--especially personal business. Keep office
contacts to professional and courteous levels, and monitor your email,
snail mail, client lists, and even your trash can. Yes, you read that
last line right. Monitor your trash can! I keep a shredder next to my
desk, and it does WONDERS for making sure that my mistakes, leads, and
investigations go where no man or woman can boldly go--into confetti!
Dumpster divers exist in the workplace. Don't become an office 'chump'
based upon someone finding something in your trash that you don't want
found. Also, watch what you say and who you say it to. Even people who
have nothing to do with your department or section LOVE to get
tidbits of information on your boss...and use them against you. Remember:
not EVERYONE is glad for your success.
LIVING THE STRESS FREE LIFE!
A lot has been said about 'identity theft'. People have made quite a bit
of cash by stealing someone's bank account numbers, background information,
or even addresses and phone numbers. However, one can steal your reputation
from you without lifting not one electronic tidbit--by tying your name
to their heinous activity. Don't bust open a can of Spinach...just watch
who has access to your name! Learn to live a stress-free life. Close your
door to cheaters. They can't prosper without your help. Your family, and
your descendants, will thank you for your courage.