This IS a formal
Declaration of War against EVERY Rapper, Hip-Hopper, and ‘No
Schooler’ who has--either in thought, action, or deed--attempted
to bypass, tear down, or destroy traditional marriage and
Mark it down, brothers: THIS Father’s Day we ARE
going to clean house. We are going to end the silence of
political correctness and attempt to encourage marriage
BEFORE sex in looking at fatherhood from the point of view
of the children BORN out of wedlock.
No, marriage is NOT for everybody--but sex outside of marriage
is NOT for everybody either! Yes, marriages DO fail--but
weekend relationships are shallow substitutes for the real
thing. Now hear this: The solution for better marriages
rests in building up the institution, rather than abandoning
it on the altars of excuses and entertainment just to ‘please’
the excuse-lovers of society.
Until a few years ago, America had made an art form out
of disrespecting men and fatherhood. However, the events
of 9/11 and the subsequent war overseas generated a lot
of positive press. Not only did it become ‘cool’
be a man but it also became ‘hip’ to be a father.
Television footage of men in uniform hugging children and
kissing wives as they shipped out for parts unknown STILL
puts a lump in many a throat. These images have the most
died-in-the-wool feminist thanking God that THEY didn’t
have to go ‘duke it out’ with our international
Of course, ‘the enlightened’ of Madison Avenue
have been cashing in on the manhood and fatherhood revival.
We are, albeit slowly, seeing positive commercials proving
that fathers are important to the well being of their children.
And, where advertising is pointing the way, movies and television
shows are proving that they are just as capable in spotting
the new ‘fatherhood is cool’ trend.
I DID NOT STUTTER:
Let’s not drift off course in euphoria brothers; there
is still work to do.
More must be done to restore fatherhood to its rightful
celebration IN marriage.
We’ve been playing games with the ‘unwed fatherhood
trap’ for far too long.
Let’s stop the excuses: REAL men MARRY before they
PROCREATE and REAL women should DEMAND a wedding ring BEFORE
they MATE. Marriage--between one man and one woman--has
NOT been respected.
It has been ignored.
Our lawmakers have sidestepped it by not amending tax codes
making marriage more desirable, various pundits in the Black
community have been bypassing it to justify immorality and
some of our churches have been retreating from it out of
sheer cowardice. Even the few groups that DO support fatherhood
have been doing more for unwed fathers than married men
(which is one of the reasons why more men do not join these
If I may be so bold, we’ve allowed Hip Hop/Rap entertainers
of our day to ‘determine’ the placement of a
‘Baby Mama’ or a ‘Baby Daddy’ ahead
of REAL fatherhood in a REAL marriage. We can talk all day
about how ‘sisters made the wrong choices’ in
bearing OOWs, but they DID NOT make those choices ALONE!
Let me state for the record that a ‘Baby Daddy’
is a male who cannot control his zipper and is trapped in
the mode of irresponsibility by deliberate selfishness.
Remember this: A ‘Baby Daddy’ IS a father,
but not a HUSBAND. He IS a male, but NOT a M-A-N! Until
he marries the mother of his child, he is going to have
to confront not only a disrespected and angry woman; he
will ALSO have to eventually confront a disrespected, angry,
and bitter offspring. The crime trends, the roll call at
juvenile hall, and the head count at your state prisons
are composed of angry little boys who were born out of wedlock
and grew up to be angry young men with a grudge against
their biological fathers who ‘rolled’ for a
night, and ‘rolled’ off into oblivion.
THE WRECKAGE IS OUT THERE!
I know, I know; this USED to be covered in the church. Well,
I might as well be blunt. Since many of today’s Black
pastors are more interested in politics rather than biblical
truth, it is any wonder that the Black church has lost its
voice on real social issues?
Some pastors ACUTALLY believe that there is ‘no such
thing’ as an illegitimate child…even though
the BIBLE they preach from contains example after example
of the OOW issue--and its consequences.
Remember what happened to Eli, Samuel--AND their sons,
A few decades back, The Temptations came out with a successful
song entitled “Papa Was A Rolling Stone”. I
invite you who are single and have contributed--or are thinking
about contributing--to the increasing OOW rate to do a web
search and get a copy of the lyrics. As a matter of fact,
as a piece of advice to single women everywhere, pick up
a copy of the lyrics yourself and see IF that single man
you are seeing happens to fit the profile of the brother
described in the song. IF he does, DROP HIM!
Let’s have an AMEN from the upright single sisters
in the house!
CHECK THE SCOREBOARD:
Moving right along; the song will provide you with a great
idea as to how your future children will feel, if you don’t
settle first things first and M-A-R-R-Y that woman whom
you may be interested in--before you even think about becoming
Marriage is the ONLY venue for TRUE fathers under GOD’S
Let’s have a first-hand look at the handiwork of
the ‘Baby Daddy’ pack:
*A rise in violent crime from girls AND boys.
*A rise in the severity of STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases).
*A rise in school disciplinary problems by young men and
*A rise in sales of anti-depressant, and other drugs for
ADHD, ODD, etc.
*A rise in the number of therapists, social workers and
*A rise in the number of young men and young women heading
Want even more tragedy? More and more schools, family courts,
and social service providers are seeing young men repeating
the trend of THEIR irresponsible and hard-headed fathers
by birthing ‘lil Gs’ of their own.
I have one simple question to put to unmarried fathers:
Do you LIKE the sound of your ‘offspring’ cursing
your name to a stranger? Believe it or not a cop, judge,
social worker, therapist, or probation officer IS a stranger!
‘BLESSED’ OR ‘CURSED’--YOU CHOOSE,
In the Bible, a child born out of wedlock is called a ‘bastard’.
Plain and simple. Once more, there is a TEN-generation curse
upon a child born out of wedlock. Do your own research and
check the Bible out for yourself.
I know why many Pastors--Black or White--won’t broach
They are C-H-I-C-K-E-N!
They haven’t sat in juvenile hall, listening to young
males berate, curse, and cry because their father is nowhere
to be found. They haven’t watched young females fall
prey to every ‘smooth talking thugg’ in the
neighborhood (or in church) because their father was nowhere
around to school them in how to tell a godly man from a
satanic counterfeit. They haven’t sat through a few
‘hot’ rap videos that boast of ‘grabbing
booty’ rather than being respectful of our single
Bad women don’t become bad all by themselves.
Perhaps the REAL reason for silence in the church is the
fact that there are TOO many pastors, preachers, elders
and deacons who have been contributing to the problem, and
use the church to ‘justify’ their sin!
Are you a ‘rolling stone’ Papa or are you building
a solid home? On THIS Father’s Day, best keep your
‘roll’ in your role as father at home. Keep
that wedding band visible and stay loyal to your wife. IF
you have children from another relationship, as E. V. Hill
once put it: “Take care of BOTH sets!”
For my single brothers, if you who get the itch…don’t
think about scratching unless you’ve got a marriage
proposal, ring, church, and wedding date. We don’t
need any more angry young men and women on our streets--or
in our jails. We have far too many teens cursing the silent
OOW roll call of men who traded away their future manhood
for a new name: ‘Baby Daddy’ instead of husband.
If you have ‘scratched’ and the mother of your
kids does not want to marry you for whatever reason, then
you still must support those children financially. Do not
get into who did what. Do not hand me ‘excuses’
about why you can’t come up with Child Support…but
you CAN pay for new rims, fake gold teeth, and the ‘bling’.
If you PLAY, you PAY!
YOU helped to birth those children brother; YOU must help
to take care of them--right down to getting your own spiritual
life right with Jesus Christ so you can pray--and pay--for
them effectively. Above all, don’t be bitter about
it. Become better through it. It’s never too late
to be blessed by your children. But you have to give them
someone to bless, instead of curse.
No more ‘rolling stones’...but brothers who
ARE builders of solid homes!
© 2005 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications International.
This column appears upon ONLY the finest websites around
the world! Used by permission, BlackandChristian.com, 2005.